Waiting has not destroyed anything yet.
Most parents arrive here certain they were too slow — that they should have acted months ago, and that the phone is already gone. That is almost never true. Platform data is retained on a schedule measured in years, not weeks, and the records that matter most are still there.
What you do in the next few days matters more than what you did last year. Start with the device and the account, because those are the two things that can genuinely disappear quickly. The medical and school records will still be available in a month.
Do not do these three things
Do not factory-reset or trade in the device. Do not delete the account. Do not block or report — not yet. Each of these can end the conversation permanently, and each is destructive before it is protective.
The phone or tablet itself is the most urgent item.
If your child uses a phone, treat that device as evidence rather than as a parenting tool this week. Take it out of harm’s way — a drawer, a box, your own pocket — but leave it powered on and connected.
Keep it powered on and charging.
A powered-off device can require a passcode to start and a professional forensic extraction to read. A locked, powered-on device has a far better chance of being readable later.
Keep the passcode.
Write it down somewhere safe. If the device is lost or damaged, the passcode is the difference between a readable device and an unreadable one.
Do not update the operating system.
An update can install data that is much harder to recover than what it replaces. If an update is already pending, tell us before it installs.
Photograph the settings.
Screen-time reports, app permissions, and which apps have camera or microphone access. Ten photographs now saves an argument later.
Leave the app data alone.
Clearing an app’s cache, reinstalling an app, or signing out can erase local evidence that never reaches the server. Do not “clean up” the phone.
If your child uses a second device, a tablet, or a school-issued laptop, preserve that too. School devices are typically wiped and returned at the end of the year.
Request your own data now, while you still can.
Every major platform lets an account holder download a copy of their own data. This is a normal, legitimate account feature — you are requesting your own information, not doing anything unusual.
Request the download from every platform, immediately.
Look for “Download Your Information” or “Download Your Data” in account settings. Request it for the full history, not a recent range. If you have an email address your child used, request from that too.
Save everything in a folder that is not the phone.
Download the archive to a computer or an external drive. If the only copy is on the device it came from, you have not really saved it.
Do not delete the account after downloading.
Deleting the account can terminate the data-retention relationship. Download first, and leave the account intact until a lawyer tells you otherwise.
Save your child’s messages and posts by hand, where you can.
Screenshot conversations that still matter, with the date visible. Scroll back further than feels necessary.
Note anything already gone.
Deleted accounts, vanished threads, removed photos. Write down what is missing and roughly when it disappeared. Absence is also information, and it is harder to prove than presence.
Data downloads can take days to weeks to assemble and may expire after a limited period. Do the download and keep the confirmation email.
Treatment records usually hold the clearest timeline.
In an individual claim, the medical chronology is often what decides matters. It is also the thing parents most often assume they already have — and usually do not, because nobody ever asked for the complete file.
Request the complete file from every provider who saw your child.
Pediatrician, adolescent medicine, psychiatry, therapy, emergency department, inpatient and residential programs, and any eating-disorder or weight-management clinic. Ask for the full record, not a summary letter — most offices will provide one if you ask in writing.
Ask for the notes, not just the diagnosis.
A note that records weight, sleep, mood, or a parent’s concern at a specific date is evidence. A billing code is not. Ask for clinical notes.
Include pharmacy records.
Antidepressants, stimulants, sleep aids, and anti-nausea medication tell their own story about what was being treated and when.
Get lab work too.
Bloodwork ordered during an eating-disorder or psychiatric admission is often the most concrete record that something was medically wrong, and often the only objective one.
Ask for records of the platform itself, if they exist.
Any portal message, report you filed, or response you received from a platform — keep the email. Reports you made are evidence that you were seeing it too.
Third-party records place your child’s change in time.
A single clinician’s note documents one moment. Contemporaneous records from other adults, made independently, establish that the change was real and that it was noticed at the time.
School: attendance, discipline, counseling, and transcripts.
Unexplained absences, a change in performance, a counseling referral, or a drop in activity usually has a date attached. Those dates bracket the period.
Coaching, tutoring, or activity records.
A child who quit a team they played on for years has made a statement without words. The tryout and withdrawal dates are in writing.
Old text threads with other parents.
Fifteen months ago, before any of this, ask three families what they were seeing. Contemporaneous messages between parents are unusually strong evidence, because they are not shaped by the litigation.
Write the chronology yourself, now.
First noticed. First said out loud by a clinician. First missed school. First hospital visit. First account opened. Approximate dates are fine. Write it while you remember.
Keep it somewhere safe.
Not on the device in question. Email it to yourself so there is a dated copy that is not the only one.
You do not have to have any of this organized.
None of it needs to be sorted, labeled, or complete before you contact us. Send what you have. A lawyer will tell you exactly what is missing and where to get it.
Send partial records.
A folder of photographs and a rough date list is genuinely useful. So is a confused account of what happened. Perfection is not the standard.
Do not delay contacting us while you gather records.
Deadlines run independently of whether you feel ready. If a filing window is closing, that matters now — and we cannot tell you that without knowing when the harm occurred.
Do not coach your child.
Do not ask them to reconstruct details, explain what the lawyers need, or review what they said. Ordinary parental questions are fine. Coaching a witness, including your own child, creates problems we cannot fix later.
If your child is in crisis
Call or text 988, or 911 if there is immediate danger. Evidence can be gathered this week. A crisis cannot wait for a lawyer. Our crisis resources page has the full list.
Submitting information does not create an attorney-client relationship. We will confirm that relationship in writing before any further work.